


❝This headcanon made me suffer❞

by M1lkT3aa



Series: ❝Old Cookie Run au stuff❞ [3]
Category: Cookie Run (Video Game)
Genre: A lot - Freeform, Excessive Swearing, Gen, Like, Some entries will be from other books, so...yeah., sometimes it lasts for more chapters than others but it counts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:27:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27990003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/M1lkT3aa/pseuds/M1lkT3aa
Summary: ❛If you don't know what I'm talking about―basically take Syo and shove it in Lilac.❜❛Of course, I don't headcanon it anymore because I started to hate it.❜
Series: ❝Old Cookie Run au stuff❞ [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2009365





	1. ❛ch. 8 of TMEAP❜

**Author's Note:**

> Oh and um...I completely HATE chapters 8-10 of TMEAP. Like, HATE it. I made Mint a dick for no reason jfebewbwbueob
> 
> Also, neither of them have any filter??? They swear like fucking sailors and I find it hilarious.

“Well shit.”

“Wait—”

“Didn’t you and Vampire...Nevermind” Peppermint trailed off. They didn’t want to think about it anyways. They’ve cried too much for one week. Or so…

“Whatever. I didn’t want to talk about it anyway.”

\---  
(this is sort of a Genocide Jack and a recent headcanon.)

“What are you doing..?” Mint asked lilac, who was acting more weirdly then ever. They were in a corner, muttering to themselves. 

“Oh, nothing...Just a little something.”

“What’s the little something…?” Mint approached Lilac slowly.

Lilac was about to turn around until they sneezed.

“...Wha—Bless you.”

They didn’t say anything nor do anything, they covered their mouth with both hands, blood dripping down their mouth. Mint cocked his head towards them, seeing the blood drip on the floor. (I know I should just call it jam instead of blood—) 

“A-are...Are you ok…?” He softly asked.

They began to giggle, then it turned into insane laughter, turned to MInt completely. Mint, finally being the pussy that he is, stepped back.

“L-Lilac..?!”

“Well well well! Looks like the fuckboy finally decided to care about me~!” 

“W-what do you m-mean ‘fuckboy’?!” 

“Well...counting how many times you’ve slapped the shit out of me for dumb reasons and verbally abused me for no reason at all~!” They laughed.

“W-why the hell is your tongue so...LONG?!”   
“I honestly don’t know about that, but that’s not the question fuckboy~! The question is WHY do you treat me like shit for? Are you scared of what I’m capable of?!”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“You obviously know what I mean you fucking cunt!” Lilac stepped closer to Mint, while he backed away from them. They pulled out their rings (You really thought that I forgot about those?) “I’m not afraid to cut a bitch up~!”

“Ok ok...Just don’t hurt me…”

“Hm...Fine. I’ll spare you. Even though I shouldn’t.” 

“W-what do you mean ‘I shouldn’t’?!”

“It’s clear as day!” they laughed, stepping back,

“You...Just abuse your followers until there nothing but dust. Why should I allow you to live when you’ll just treat me like shit more…?” they shook a bit.

Mint lowered his hands, and looked at lilac and sighed.

“Well, you’re still a fuckboy either way...I bet Coco cookie wouldn’t be proud….Especially when you influenced her to go down your path. Y’know that third killing game?” 

Mint looked up, and almost teared up, but his thoughts of being “A tough mastermind” stopped him.

“Yeah..The one that Vampire is worried shitless of?” They pointed to Vampire, who was basically sobbing.

“Y-yeah why?”

“Coco cookie took part in it. She was the mastermind. She regretted everything. She regretted that she followed your path. She is tired of being your follower. Just like me. Y’know what’s the difference? I get treated like trash while you treat your lover like a fucking queen.” 

“I only treat her like the queen of the cookie kingdom because SHE’S my lover! And YOU’RE just my throw-away servent.”

“T-thrown...A-away….S-servent…?” They started, Looking up a bit.

“Well yeah, you’re a bodyga—”

Mint was interrupted by Lilac, who shoved him by a wall. With the ring dangerously on his neck. 

“I..I didn’t CHOOSE to be a bodyguard. They chose me. It isn’t my fault.”

“I..I mean...I’m sorry..” 

They sighed, let go of him, and putting the ring away somewhere that I honestly don’t know WHERE. They turned their back to them.

“Hm...Well, I honestly don’t know when that’ll last. ..Hell, I don’t know if it’ll last for WEEKS. So you’ll have to deal with this for awhile~!”

“Dammit..” Mint sighed.  
\--  
“Whatever. It’s probably for the best anyway. Have you SEEN vampire lately?” Yogurt pointed to Vampire, who was a MESS.

“Hey..Has anyone heard Laughter from the other room lately?” Walnut pointed to the other room. The two already left. 

Most people already had compony. Most of em talked, while others try not to go insane. Like Cotton Candy for example. She already filled out her notebook, and now was trying to write on herself. It was half working. Even though it wasn’t readable, but it was keeping her busy.

When that was over, she tried to write on the white walls, she only got 60+ sentences in until she gave in. 

She looked at her pen and then stabbed herself with it. It wasn’t sharp, but it did the damage. She stabbed herself multiple times until blood covered the pen and her uniform. One last stab and she was down. 

And it was out of nowhere too.


	2. ❛ch. 9 of TMEAP❜

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (NSFW warning for the next sentence...?)  
> ❛Basically Lilac nearly um...Orgasms over Mint kicking them?? Jesus fuck--- ❜
> 
> ❛Also this chapter is really unoriginal on the last part so bear with me.❜  
> ❛And the fact that he had to make his dicknesses believable becuz Lilac told them so?? So we're not gonna mention chapter 6 or 7 with the news???❜

Mint adjusted the mic while Lilac was swaying back and forth, talking about who knows what. Their tongue also swayed along.

“...Even though the prince always leaves to go get treasures he’s been acting strange lately! He isn’t as demanding and bratty as he was when he was in the killing game~! I don’t understand how he’s not like this anymore? Maybe he felt guilty for killing three people? No?” They swayed. Their speech was often confusing to Mint Choco because they were swaying so much. 

“Hm. whatever you said…” He nodded, obviously wasn’t paying attention to Lilac’s random rambles. But this one...Made more sense. 

He was about to make the morning announcement and…

Something.

“Just help me with this.”

“‘Kay then! Even though I still dislike the fact that I let you live.” 

“Good morning evryone~!” Mint chirped. The room filled with groans and yawns once again. 

“The two-day mark has passed!so you know what that means!” 

“You don’t mean…”

“Yup! You all will stop getting food after today.”

The intercom turned off and everyone stayed silent.

“We need an escape plan. NOW.”

—

Lilac just won’t shut up. Ever since that they’ve been like this they won’t stop being so...Creepy. 

“so...What are we going to do with the food supplies If we don’t feed it to the cookies?” 

“DUH! We’ll keep it for two reasons, for our own health, and if we decide to be nice for them.”  
“I don’t know that’s a good idea, surely the remainings can starve to death in there, but I’ll ruin the whole thing, not to mention that it isn’t despairful enough to just let them starve to death y’know?” They giggled a bit, then stopped in their tracks.

Mint stopped too, and looked behind him, 

They placed a hand onto his shoulder—

“You...You don’t suspect that you’re m—”

Mint turned around completely and kicked them in the face, making them fly back a bit.

Their nose is bleeding, and they had a smile on their face.

“You..Kicked me...SO despairful~!!” 

“What the actual fuck is wrong with you?! I-I’m not afraid of doing it again..!” 

They fell because their legs said ‘fuck it’.

“Ok, I’m leaving. Come back to me when you’re not having an episode.” He started to walk, then ran. Ran from them.

…

“You ok?” Peppermint walked up to Yogurt Cream (Seemed like we haven’t shown our two protagonists some attention yet >:( )

“Yeah...Just my head hurts.”

“Maybe it’s because it was when you hit your head hard on the wood stairs...Surprised you don’t have a concussion or are in a coma in total.”

“...” 

He hadn’t thought of that.

“Maybe.”

“Do you have your hair up? Is the tie on too tight? I mean, that’s another cause.”

“Since when did you become a do—”

“I think I can help you with that…” A voice said.

“Huh?”

They untied his hair tied, letting his hair flow until about to the floor. They separated his hair a bit, brushing it with their hand for a bit.

“I-I mean I do feel nice..”

“Oh, that’s good.” 

“You feeling better, mon amour?” Roquefort tilted their head towards him.

“Hm? O-oh yeah..!” He quickly turned his head at Roquefort with a light tint of pink across his face.

“Hm, alright then…”

\---

(something came up when I was on my 2 am nightly thoughts.)

Lilac sighed and go up.

“Finally. That fuckboy left. Kind of a big shame that he’s going to be gone soon...Who will care for miss Coco now..Hm.” They shrugged and as they walked up to an empty room.

Good. He wasn’t here.

They seem to remember what they told him--

“Act like you’re an asshole.”

“Act like you’re some type of manipulator.”

“Make it believable.”

\---

Everything was going well until a voice-  
“Are you tired of being nice?”

“Don’t you just want to go apeshit?” 

“Hm?” 

Most heads turned towards where the voice came from.

(Alright I am out of ideas and APPARENTLY I forgot that Macaroon existed so let’s pretend that she died by unknown causes.)

Anyways Angel committed self deletus and dies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (What I meant...Also please excuse the fact there's a bit of Lil d@rk1e lyrics because I was obsessed with one of his songs. It was chapter 5 and not 6 OR 7...Also these bitches were sent to lethal injection too??)
> 
> \---  
> The news flooded when the people behind the “experiment” were arrested and sentenced to lethal. 
> 
> News also flooded that the two masterminds behind it, wasn’t arrested, but *almost* got off scot-free.
> 
> Well, almost.
> 
> Lilac...Somewhat regretted their decision, blaming poor Peppermint on the whole thing was wrong, well, they thought it was. I mean, it wasn’t their choice anyways. 
> 
> (Please note that Pink Corpses came before Dice Roll. Not fangame wise but story plot wise.)
> 
> He said that “leading a killing game doesn't make you the bad guy...Just blame it on the next cookie!” 
> 
> They tilted their heads in confusion. What did he mean by ‘Blame it on the next guy’? 
> 
> “Oh you don’t know..? Still forgot you’re still mute..”
> 
> “Well..What I mean is that you just blame it on the first cookie you think of!”
> 
> They looked away, but nod silently. 
> 
> Was this the right thing to do? Betraying their master like this? But they had to. It’s for their own good. It’s for everyone’s own good. 
> 
> 1212121212121212121212121212
> 
> “So, do any of you have anything to say for this-?” the news reporter vocalized, with a harsh tone. 
> 
> Lilac didn’t say anything, but got the courage to say a “simple” apology-
> 
> “I-I am v-very very--” they stammered out.
> 
> “--SORRY my apologies for coming off so harshly~!” Mint covered their mouth with his hand, and his grip was hard.
> 
> “Impart me a second chance so I can dance the way YOU WANT ME!” Mint yelled.
> 
> Lilac got the strength to pull off his hand from their mouth,
> 
> “Y-y-you—” 
> 
> “GOT ME!” Mint clamped their mouth shut, having his grip harder to the point where his fingers dug into their skin, it was bleeding a bit. “Take alot more than that to top me~!” 
> 
> “Whatever.” the news reporter walked off, pissed.
> 
> He removed his hand from their mouth, grabbing them from the cloak. (They’re still wearing their canon outfits lol) “You little bitch..!” He glared at them, tears forming in their eyes. 
> 
> They didn’t say anything. He let go of them, and walked away. 
> 
> He left them to just lay there and cry.   
> \---
> 
> Damn Mint you don't have to yell smh


	3. ❛ch. 10 of TMEAP❜

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ❛Honestly? This only really mentions the headcanon and the beginning where Walnut gets taken out, but nothing less, just a song from tik tok and a whole bunch of cryng. I like the Mint and Lilac bit though..Still cuss like sailors but an improvement.❜

“‘putain de putain de putain!”  
(Fuck fuck FUCK!)

Yogurt slowly opened his eyes a bit, cringing at the bright room. Ugh. How long was he sleeping?

“She’s like a DAUGHTER to me just please don’t take her..!” They begged Lilac.

“Oh well~! She was the one who wanted to sacrifice herself so that’s what she gets. No exceptions~! Also, this is just really pleasing to watch you just break down like this!!” 

“Mais ... Elle ... était une fille pour moi ... Tu ne peux pas me l'enlever comme ça …”  
(But..She...Was a daughter to me..You can’t take her away from me like that..) 

“Hm? I honestly don’t understand what you’re saying but I don’t give a fuck either way~!!”

“B-bu—”

“Bye!!” The door closed again.

“I..” They dropped to the floor.

“Hm? What happened? Did someone die aga—” Peppermint slowly rubbed their eye. When they opened their eyes completely, with the exception of their rubbed eye had a ‘tear’ escape from rubbing it too hard.

“Why is Roquefort having a breakdown—They’re the last person to have one.” they didn’t get up, but they had two hands on the floor to support them to have them up.

Soft crying could be heard, while the others left for their weekly ‘test’ while a very few stayed in the room. 

“S-she...She’s gone..” 

He crawled to them, assuming that his legs would still ache, and didn’t want to trip himself and onto Roquefort.

“She was...A daughter to you..?” He asked the sobbing cookie.

“Y-yes...She was a daughter to me...Good thing that she doesn’t know the truth.”

They were interrupted constantly with either a hiccup or chocked on a sob.

He stayed silent.

“E-even though I-I’ve should of t-told her—!”

They were full-on sobbing at this point. Letting all the bottled up emotions out. Yogurt didn’t know what to do, considering that a huge chunk of the cookies here was gone. One of them said that ‘While most of our least favorites will be in series rooms, while the rest stay here!’ meaning that they were ‘gifted’ and deserved ‘more space’ 

He shook a bit, then muttered,

“..Down by the bay..”

Roquefort looked up, but also muttered,

“Down by the bay…”

“Where the watermelon rots..”

“Where the watermelon rots..”

“If...You go home..”

“If you go home..”

“Just don’t get caught…”

“Just d-don’t get caught..”

“But if you do..” 

“My mother will say..”

“You don’t want to know what’s outside the window down by the bay..” 

Roquefort grabbed his arm and tugged it a bit, catching Yogurt’s attention, then letting go.

“Are you—”

“Mon amour..?”

“Huh..?”

“Will you..”

“?”

“Stay..with me...Not until I recover from this..”

He nodded slowly.

—

“Y’know, this isn’t what I’ve had in mind.”

Mint slammed down a stack of envelopes. 

LIlac, who was over their ‘other side’ in about a three-day spam, tapped on the desk impatiently, not bothering that they’ve been getting emails and letters every day, so this wasn’t new.

“It’s probably junk mail. Throw it all away.”

“If THIS is junk mail to you..” He tore one open, most likely one of the more recent ones, and shoved it to their face.

“Then why if we don’t come forward with the surviving remains, then well be fucking publicly executed?” 

“They’re just fucking with us!”

“Alright then, I’m no longer in this.” Mint walked away.

Lilac took the time to pick up the letter that Mint rudely shoved in their face earlier. and read it, they gave out a light chuckle.  
“Hm..”  
\--  
Roquefort decided to cling onto the light-haired jewel collector until the lights dimmed and they fell asleep on him.

“..Down by the bay..” He sang to himself softly.

“..W-where the w-watermelon ro—”

He was full-on sobbing quietly at this point. He cried himself to sleep that night.


	4. ❛Haha torturing magician man funny 😐❜

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ❛No, it's not funny, it's dumb. Leave poor cinnamon alone Lilac smh.❜

(Hey if no one writes how lilac losing their shit then I guess I will.)

It was a pretty average day in Hope’s Peak. Everything was normal, Peppermint and Yogurt Cream didn’t argue today, Herb wasn’t being the teacher’s pe(s)t that he hated to admit to being. (Which Lilac hated about him, Sometimes calling him a pest.) and holy fuck Adventurer wasn’t dead for once! It was a dream come true. 

Cinnamon Cookie was the Ultimate Magician, being told that “His tricks are garbage!” and shit like that, did he stop? Only for a week then he caves in and did his bullshit again but who cares about him right? Apparently Lilac did to the point where they manipulated him to the point of when he told anyone, he’ll have “his head on a stick.” But that was two weeks ago! Yes, I said two weeks ago. Because this was so recent Lilac decided to ‘apologize’. And what better apology of trying a possible 99% chance “of fail” magic trick that they totally learned upon themselves and totally didn’t threaten another cookie that if they didn’t confess then it’s “OFF WITH THEIR HEAD” for them.

Cinnamon was told to be met after school. When he did, then he saw non-other than Lilac Cookie, sitting on a desk for some reason.

“Hm?” 

“I’m here to..Uhm...Apologize.” 

“Oh that...Even though I shouldn’t have forgiven you...People deserve another chance right?” 

They nodded silently.

“Well, what is it that you wanted to show me?” Cinnamon got closer to Lilac. 

At this moment that Lilac knew,

They fucked up.

They paused for a second, then sneezed.

“O-oh! Bless you!”

They didn’t answer, they covered their mouth with their hands as Strawberry jam (blood) spilled out their mouth. They began to shook, having a pale look in their eyes. 

“L-lilac—?” 

They looked up to him.

“Did you really think that I came here to APOLOGIZE?! THAT’LL GET A LAUGH FROM ME!” They laughed

Cinnamon took a step back. He didn’t want to know what happened. The Jam had probably seeped onto the floor by now. 

“Even though I’m not the type to kill on the spot, You kind of have to admit, you DO deserve to have your head on a stick~!” They put their hands behind their head and leaned back. 

“W-what do you mean?!” Cinamon stepped back until his back hit the wall. A few things fell on top of his head, he slid down and started to tear up.

“Why are you crying, pretty boy?” They tilted their head, smiling.

He didn’t say anything. 

“well...I’ll have fun with you~!”


End file.
